Into the Decade

For many of us, 2000 - 2009 was a year of struggle and discomfort. It was the struggle to keep families together, homes safe from foreclosures, and praying for others who may not have been so fortunate enough to make it through the years. For others, it was a time to give thanks. Though every day was quite exhausting, we all made it the best nine years that we could. Many family members were lost either from duties over seas or in the states from a deadly flu. However, through the difficulties and conflicts that we all encountered through out the years, we still had hope for a better tomorrow. Being able to drive up to a gas station and say, "wow, that's cheap!" was every Americans favorite phrase. Being fortunate enough to stay at our jobs for another day was every Americans dream. It is America's only dream to live each and every day with the easy thought of providing food for the family and school supplies for their children. It is not America's dream to live every day with the thought of losing their home, job, or loved one because they weren't able to afford medical insurance. Everyday we wake up to a new adventure, whether we know the adventure is going to be easy or not. We cannot predict what will happen tomorrow, but we can strive to make a better tomorrow. These past nine years have brought us to where we are now. We must forget the pain, and focus on what we've accomplished. Don't focus on the accomplishments of others, but focus on the accomplishments that we've all made personally, whether it's passing senior year of high school, getting married to a true love, or surviving the worst economic crisis in years. We don't know what 2010 will hold for us. We don't know what 2050 will hold for us, but everyday is another day to make history and to make every day the best day of our lives. As we enter 2010, I believe we will all come together to work even harder to make every day worth living for. I believe that nothing in life is set in stone, except after life itself. We cannot depend on one person to bring hope to this nation. We have to be the ones to to inspire hope for others around the world. Let's be that inspiration for 2010 and for the many years to come.

A Better Understanding

In my last blog, I described my mission trip to Africa. While in Africa, I witnessed poverty, disease, love, hospitality, drought, and life. Ever since I came back I have viewed the world much differently than I did weeks before I went on the trip. I feel that my mind has been opened even wider. I used to see things in black and white, but I think I have a better understanding of life. I'm learning not to criticize or look down on people. Even though I do not support gay rights, I do have a better understanding of what they go through everyday and I am no better than them. They are only human and so am I. If I don't like people telling me how to live my life, why should tell others how to live theirs? I'm a Christian who lives by the laws that God provided for us and one of the biggest rules God gave us was to love our neighbors as ourselves. If I just look down on people because of my faith, then I'm not being true to my faith. No sin is greater than the other.
I'm not so unsympathetic as I used to be when people make mistakes. I realize that people make mistakes and so do I, so I should never lack sympathy for them. I can't even count the many mistakes that I've made in my lifetime. Usually we say a person had what was coming to him because it's a way to make ourselves feel better. I don't think anyone deserves to suffer. Whenever I hear about a teenager getting drunk and then dying in a car crash because he or she was racing friends or making unwise decisions, I usually think, "how am I suppose to feel bad about that? They were drunk, they drove under the influence, and they decided to act on a dumb decision." People do make dumb decisions at one point in their lives. Sometimes the decision will kill the person or it can ruin the reputation of someone. Because the person made the unwise decision to drink and drive, it will affect the world around him and maybe change the lives of others. It's sad that people have to die in order for people to change their lives, but that's just how it is sometimes. I never really understood that until now. Whenever we make decisions like having pre-marital sex and then getting pregnat, it's something that a person has to live with, but will learn from it. Making mistakes is just a way to finally grow up.
I work at a movie theater and one of the foods that we provide is pizza. Sometimes when we cook a pizza it gets a little toasty around the sides. When that happens, the costumer will complain and demand us to make a new one for them. I usually look at the pizza and think to myself, "what's wrong with it?", but apparently slightly cooked means it's no good. Because it's a little toasty I have to toss it out. It really upsets me when people can't appreciate what they have when other people would kill for it. I'll admit, I am slightly picky about foods, but if something is slightly cooked, like the pizza, I'll still eat it.
I also learned not to live my life in ignorance. I have the tendency to blast certain people like feminists, hippies, and librals because they think differently than I do. I learned to see their point of view and I may not accept any of it, but at least I'll know where they are coming from instead of attacking them. My brother is considered to be a libral to a certain degree. I used to think that all librals were people who want to change how we all live, but I learned that there are good librals and bad librals. I used to never undestand feminism because I thought it was all about women critizing men, but I learned it was so much more. When I went to Dubai, most of the women had to cover themselves because the husbands did not want other men looking at her. The husbands would provide for themselves first and for their wives second. That gave me a bigger picture of what feminists are fighting for everyday.
I learned that life isn't all about having fun. Most people have to do something fun each and every day to make their lives seem fulfilled. There are people who have to go clubbing, go to parties, hang out with friends everyday, or have to go someplace just to have fun. It is good to have fun, believe me, I love a great party, but there's way more to life than just having a party-like-life everyday. Most people don't see the big picture. They don't take time to stop and count the stars, or watch the sunset, or even appreciate life as it is. For me, I have learned to see every little thing as beauty. Every little thing in life is beautiful; pretty or ugly.
Right now, I'm trying to make my life better than it was. I know that everyday I will sin, but I want to be able to recognize it so that I can not sin as much. No one is perfect and I don't expect anyone to be perfect. I know that bad things happen everyday to everyone. There's no way to stop that, but with every flood there's a dove with a leaf in its mouth. I've learned so much and I want to continue learning and to have a better understanding of the world around me.

My Trip to Africa

On July 8, 2009, a mission team departed from California, USA to Tanzania, Africa, where they would teach people about God's love and help rebuild the little town of Morogoro. Do you know what the best part was? I was part of that group. I was able to fly clear across the world to change other peoples lives. Hearing my story will be easy, but completely understanding of what I saw and experienced will be something that I will only know.
As many long trips go, we started at an airport, where we would soon embark on the greatest journey. From there, we flew over North America, over the Arctic Circle, down Russia and into a country, known as Dubai. Dubai was one of those countries where you want to get in and get out as soon as possible. I don't say that because it's dangerous. Well, yeah, there was a heavy case of Swine Flu, but the heat and humidty was very much unbarable. We did stay at a local hotel that night, but we headed out early the next day to catch our flight to Africa. The flight to Dubai was about 15 hours while the flight to Tanzania was about 5 hours, so it was a very long day for all of us.
We eventually landed in the city of Dar es Salaam, near the east coast of Africa. Again, Swine Flu was heavy, but fortunately, we made it out alive. From the Airport, we were driven to our hotel, which was suppose to be a three hour ride, but because there was a traffic accident every couple miles, it took us nearly 5 hours to reach our hotel. The roads are fairly different from here in the US. Like England, the people drove in the left lane rather than the right. However, drivers would always tend to cross into the right lane in order to pass a slow moving vehicle. If a car flashed its left blinker then it means it's okay to pass. If a car in front of us flashes its right blinker, it means that we cannot pass. If a car behind us flashes its lights at us, it means that the driver wants to pass and it's up to us to decide if he can or not. In America, that is highly illegal, especially when a driver crosses over double barred lines. But we were in Africa, so I guess we had to expect the impossible. We finally reached our hotel, which was called the Usambara Safari Lodge, at around 9:00pm, which was 11:00am in California.
The next day, which was yesterday for America, was the beginning of our trip. We headed out to the local school, which was only a five minute walk from our hotel, and gave the little kids a carnival day. We brought out games, face paint, and all the things little kids would love. They definitely had a good time.
On Sunday, we attended the local church that was led by a very holy man, known as Pastor Alex. In America, a typical Christian church has worship with a band or choir and people usually read the lyrics off of a projector screen. Well, in Africa, worship was done in singing and dancing. There was a lot of dancing. Little kids and adults would get up from their seats and begin to dance, choreographed of course, in front of the church. The words were in Swahili, but I sang along anyway in the best way that I could.
Monday through Friday, the group held Vacation Bible School at the same school that we had the carnival at. After school let out, certain grades would stay after and attend the VBS. It was exhausting, but it was so much fun getting to know all the kids. They just fell in love with us and we fell in love with them. I tell you the truth, each kid loved Michael Jackson. He was more popular in Africa than he was here in America. All the kids would sing, We are the World, and attempt to dance just like Michael Jackson. He was perhaps more popular than Barack Obama.
Every day after VBS, our group would split up into groups of threes to visit a students home to tell them about our faith. One house that I visited was fairly nice, but the others were extremely poor. The first house we went to was about a 45 minute walk from where we were at. The house had no electricity and no windows. Tiny ants were trailing along the sofas, while chickens simply walked straight into the house. The second house we visited was much worse. Yes, the house was small and rundown, but we dealt with a much more serious problem than that. The man's son had a disease that was unknown to them and us as well. Basically, the son's skin on his ankle was tearing away and deteorating. At first I was thinking something like Leprosy and then I tried to look it up and found out that it could have been Ecthyma. That would make sense because Ecthyma occurs with lack of nutrition, which seemed to be a high risk of many of the people there. I talked to him about God and prayed with him, but it was very hard to do so because it ws a tough and tense situation. At the other house my group and I attended, the woman's son, who's name was also Eric, was in the hospital with Maleria. It was tough to deal with all these intense situations, because I've never dealt with them in America. It was certainly an eye-opener. For me, it was very depressing to see these kids be so happy and playful when they have to go home to a place that is unhealthy, unsafe, and poverish. I suppose that I have to give some pitty on them, but how can I feel bad for people who are happy with their lives? Those kids don't know any other way of living. It certainly has made me appreciate everything that I got here at my home, not just material things, but humanity as well.
Saturday was a day that I will never forget. It was the day I went on an actual safari. Words cannot even describe the beauty and wonder of the African wild. There were no barriers between us and the animals. Besides seen Giraffe's, Baboons, Zebras, and Elephants, my favorite part was seeing my favorite animal of all time, the Lion. I will never forget the feeling of seeing a Lion upclose. It was astonshing, but very scary as well. Our jeep was about 15 to 20 feet away from the lion, but there were other Lions surrounding us on each side. The Lion that we were watching was eating a Cape Buffalo. When I saw that predator tearing away at that Buffalo, it was the most beautiful sight, because that was nature at its best. If I ever see a Lion at the zoo, I will never look at it the same way again.
For the last Sunday, some of us went to Pastor Alex's church again, but it was somewhat depressing. The church was sad that we were leaving the next day, but they were also losing their music leader. Later that day, we all met the Secretary General of the Ruling Party of Tanzania. He owns the hotel in which we stayed at and he bought everyone a carved wooden cross for doing what we were doing. He also paid for a couple gifts for me that I got for my family, so that was really cool. It was definitely a good way to end that day.
The next day, we headed to the airport for our departure to Dubai. Again, we spent the night in Dubai and headed back to America early the next day. It was such a long flight and bumpy one at that. I am seriously terrified of flying. To increase my phobia, our plane had a very tough time landing at the San Francisco airport. Our plane was attempting to land, but we were slightly off course because of fog, so we flew back up to make a full U-turn. We attempted to land again, but another plane was landing and another was about to take off, so we were again slightly off course, but we finally got right and landed safely. Flying is something that I won't ever do too often, but I'd definitely go back to Africa in a heartbeat. Going to Africa was something I'll never forget. I'll really miss the people and all the great experiences that I had there. There's always at least one thing that went wrong for someone such as mosquito bites, food sickness, stolen property and bad food. The food in Africa wasn't great at all. We just couldn't question what we were eating because sometimes we just didn't want to find out. Everyone owned a chicken, so guess what was for dinner each night. My one bad experience was my bad luck with watches. I never got bit by a mosquito or had anything stolen, but time was certainly not on my side for this trip. First, my wrist watch froze as we were going to Africa. Then, my cell phone clock was off by a few hours, along with the date and world clock. I borrowed a watch from a friend and I either lost it or it got pick pocketed. For most of the trip, I had no idea what time it was. My internal clock usually got me up on time in the morning. However, those were just minor downfalls. Worse things could have happened, but we were blessed that nothing did happen. Again, this trip was absolutely amazing and I am so blessed that I was able to go on it. I cannot wait to go again next year.

Who I Am

I'm not who you think I am. If you don't know me, then you cannot even begin to imagine who I am. You could picture me in any way you want. Let your imagination run wild. Go ahead. Imagine. Are you picturing me tall? Perhaps short? You might even begin to imagine me as a well-built athletic hunk. Maybe not. I don't know. Before you begin to imagine, let me just say one thing. Everything you thought was wrong. You don't have the slightest clue who I am. Sure, you could possibly identify my personality from these blogs, but you still only have half the picture. Instead of making this into a mystery novel, let me just explain who I am in the best way that I can. Maybe, after I explain myself, you might know me better than before or you may walk away without a care in the world. Either way, you are now reading this blog. Because you are reading this blog and because you have read this far into it, you are now curious to find out who I really am. Go on. Continue to read on. I am the opposite of a democrat, but not that patriotic toward my country as I should be. I don't believe in a religion, but in a way of living. What people call music and what I call music are two different types of music. My life is entertaining and so are my future dreams. I'm not short, but I'm also not tall. My strengths and weaknesses are different from the mightiest humans. When I say strengths and weaknesses, I'm not talking about failure and accomplishments. My life is full of those as it is. I think a "Results May Vary" should be posted on my face. My love life seems to think I'm a creep and a weirdo and I just don't belong. You could call me the Joker because I laugh at the most absurd situations or you could call me House because of my witty remarks toward human nature. I believe that Global Warming is just a way to spend more money and make people more worried than they already are. My favorite bands are names of a bug, a car, a pot smoking holiday, a religious icon and sound traveling data, a high number of blinking, and a fighter plane from WWII. My best friends are not all the ones in my Top 8, but a few. If there's anything in life that I will never understand is chemistry, philosophy, and girls. I realized that when I like a girl, she doesn't like me, but when I don't like a girl, she likes me, so maybe I shouldn't like anyone and see how that goes. A few of my best friends have 61 black and white keys, 6 strings, and 5 heads. I enjoy capturing objects of everyday life with a push of a button. My other best friend seems to obtain many of my interests and his name is something you step on or lay on. My skin resembles the color of mocha and my hair resembles a puddle of tar. My voice is something no man on earth has ever heard before. I live in a cow-town named Lard. Lard is the heart of California and the crossroads to every destination. I'm not young, but I'm not old. Whatever age you think I am, you are wrong, but I won't be upset if you guess incorrectly. This is who I am in the best way I can describe. Do you think you know me better? Maybe. Maybe not. You may never fully know me. I may never fully know myself. Just keep using your imagination and eventually you'll get it right.

Photographs

I realized that when we are looking at photos it's as if we are looking at the stars in the night sky. For everytime we look up at a star, we are actually looking into the past of how the star used to look a hundred or even a thousand years ago. Isn't that what we do when we look at a photo? As we hold that memory in our fingertips, we see what our lives looked like years before. For the most part, many of us cannot even recall the event in which the photo took place. It is the only evidence that proves we were all young at one point. We've all heard the saying, "a picture is worth a thousand words", but if I may, I'd like to tweak that phrase a little to, "A picture is worth a thousand emotions". When we gaze into our past, we can't help but feel a mix of emotions. The biggest emotions that we share are happiness, sadness, and of course the one everyone has, nostalgic. Everyone wishes that they could go back in time to that particular event. Does that mean Kansas was right when they said that all we are is dust in the wind? We take a photo, but life goes on. People in that photo may be grown up, married, have a family, or possibly deceased. In the words of the Beatles, "Tomorrow never knows". We have no idea what to expect in the future, so we like to live in the past in order to forget about all our worries. People like to live in the moment. When you look at a photo, look at the people who are in it. Think about where they are now. Look at a class photo and think about all the kids who made it out as druggies, successful beings, average Joe's, and the pretty innocent girls with the flower dresses who no longer know the meaning of having innocence. Usually, when we look at a photo, we tend to focus on the primary subject, which would be us. When you take a picture in public, look past yourself and pay attention to the people who happened to land in your snapshot. What if someone took your picture at the park and there happens to be a person in the background who will someday be your spouse? What if that person in the background was a future celebrity or a criminal or someone who will later cross you to change your life forever? What if you've already met that person? What if I was in the background of one of your photos? What if you were in the background of one of my photos? A photograph isn't just a glossy piece of paper with people or natural elements on it. A photograph is a door to our past and a window to our future. It captivates our soul and makes us fall in love with life all over again. People we once knew growing up never really left us. They just happen to be hiding in those old photo envelopes that you keep in a box on the top shelf of your coat closet. Who says that we should stop living in the past? The past is not overrated. Go ahead, take a photograph.

Fear is the Heart of Love

Love is one of those words that is always difficult to explain. Some say it's when two people care for each other. Others say it's when two people are compatible with each other. Then there are people who say love is when you get butterflies in your stomach whenever that person is around.

My definition of love is something different. You see, I have a theory about what love really is. My theory is; for one to be in love, one must fear love first. Think about it, before you ever get into a relationship or while in a relationship, you have to have some sense of fear. It's the fear of knowing you may never be with the one you love. It's the fear of losing the one you love to someone else. It's the fear of living your life without that person by your side.

Being in love is like having a job. Before you apply for a job, you have to know what you are getting yourself into and how your are going to make it through. If you go into a relationship thinking that it will last forever, it will surely end with great destruction.

I thought of the concept of loving God with fear. As a Christian, I love God, but I also fear Him, as any believer does. It's the belief that God is in control and He makes everything possible. If we put that into our love lives, then we too can be happy and successful.

Love is not just saying how much you love that significant other. Love is not just thinking about that person all the time. Love is not just being compatible or having common interests. Love is not just about getting butterflies in your stomach. People always say that true love should be easy. That is not true. True love takes hard work and time. If it does not take hard work and time, then it will not survive. Just because you and your partner have sex doesn't mean you'll be with each other forever.

In the movie, Dan in Real Life, one character says, "Love is not a feeling, it is an ability". You must know how to love to feel love. Love today is depicted from all the sappy love movies. If you're in love, rejoice, but don't think that because you are in love you are invincible. In the Bible, it says that love is patient. That's exactly what it should be. Just because you and your significant other have been dating a year doesn't mean you have to talk about marriage. Studies show that couples who talk about marriage while dating in high school (high school sweethearts) will end in divorce.

What I do is I try to prevent bad things from happening to people I care about and others whom I don't even know. I've seen this stuff happen before. Don't say that your love is different from everyone else, because it's not. Those who say that are exactly like everyone else. Those are particularly the ones who fail. Strive to make it last. Don't just take advantage of being in love. I know the words "fear love" sounds cynical and pessimistic, but if you don't fear love, every little thing will hit you like a bullet. You will not be prepared for anything.

To fear love is to honor and respect love. If you don't fear love, then you are just abusing love. There is no other way. You either be smart and safe in your relationship, or you do whatever you want and see where that leads you. I read so many myspace surveys where one person mentions the other person in almost every question. That is not love, it is an obsession. An obsessed relationship goes against my theory. What happens if something bad occurs to that other person? Suicide? Depression? If every little conversation or thought is about your significant other, then you need to realize that that person is not some divine being and is only human. Fear can only make a person stronger in their relationship.

Think of love as a Jenga set. If you keep pulling those pieces without observing it, studying it, and having patience, the whole thing will collapse. You see, you want to pull that piece from a safe spot and put that piece back on top of the tower. Whenever you pull a piece from the tower, you fear that your tower will collapse at any moment and you won't be prepared for it when it happens. However, the more you observe and become patient enough to look at the whole picture, your tower will never collapse and if it somehow does collapse, you will see where you went wrong and it will be easy to rebuild your tower.

Life After High School

So far, I've been out of high school for about 2 years now. I attend college and I have a part-time job. Those are typical things for a young adult to have at that time. However, it seems that since I've left high school, I've grown far apart from my friends. Maybe I've grown apart from them or they've grown apart from me. I remember in high school where we'd make a new friend and we'd claim to be BFF's (Best Friends Forever). After high school ended, all of that seemed to change. There are some people we stay friends with, but some will move away, some will stay, and some will forget all about you because they have a new person in their life. In some way, it reminds me of how Andy replaced Woody for Buzz Lightyear because he was so much better and cooler than all the other toys. It's harder to keep in touch with everyone because they are all grown up and they have their own responsibilities to take care of. Sometimes our so called friends don't even make an effort to see us anymore unless it's convenient for them. There are some people who say they are your friend, but do they ever call you or just stop by to say hi? Could you ever count on them to save your life? I mean, will we be able to attend their wedding? Will we be able to see them when college is over and we've all settled down? It's like I wish we were back in high school so that our friends would never go away. Remember back in high school when your friends used to call you to hang out? It wouldn't matter what time of the day it was, it was always convenient. Remember all the group photos you used to take with each other at the park or any other public place? Remember the secrets that only you knew about? Remember the jokes and gags you and your friends pulled because it was the most hilarious thing ever, even though they were dumb? Remember when all of that ended? Sometimes you wonder if you really were friends with those people. However, things always start over new. Because you're out of high school there's a whole new world waiting to meet you. There are new friends to be made. There will be more opportunities for group photos. There will be more secrets and more immature jokes. Even though there's a breaking point after high school, somehow we find out who our real friends are and were.